Please Help Me—I Have a Problem"

And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, 'God be merciful to me a sinner.'"1

Years ago when I was doing a counselor training course, one of the instructors made the statement, "Whatever bothers you is your problem!" "Hmmm," I thought to myself, "that's an interesting concept—never thought of that before."

At the time I was going through a rough situation personally and was in despair about it. During the course of the training, I explained to my counselor about my predicament and he said, "That must make you angry."

"No," I replied, "I'm just hurt." And he left me with the thought, "That must make you angry!"Shortly after that I went for a long walk, thinking about, "That must make you angry." Then the truth hit me like a bolt of lighting! "Whew," I admitted to myself, "I am angry—very angry!"I was never able to change the person whom I felt had rejected and hurt me so badly, but I was able to change me, and come to terms with my feelings (which I had learned to bury and deny at an early age), and resolve them.

It also helped me to deal with the anger I had towards my father from whom I had been estranged for many years and resolve that impaired relationship. Fortunately, I was able to do this a few months before he died.

My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. What others do to me may or may not be a problem, but how I react and feel is always my responsibility. However, to the degree that I overreact, that is always my problem.It is true; whatever bothers me is my problem.

This can be a hard pill to swallow, but until we accept this reality, we will continue to blame others for our feelings and possibly never resolve our hurts/anger or impaired relationships.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you for the people in my life whom you have used to confront me with truth and reality. They have been angels in disguise. Help me to always recognize them as such and use their insights to help me become a better, healthier, and more loving and accepting person. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Luke 18:13 (KJV).

Credit: Daily Encounter

God's Goal Is Not to Make Us Good

"We proclaim Him [Christ], admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete [mature] in Christ. For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me."1

We don't have to be good for goodness sake!In fact, being good may be our worst enemy. It was for the Pharisees! Their external goodness was a cover-up used to avoid facing what they were on the inside. Jesus did not approve of their external religiosity! In fact, he opposed it vehemently.

It can bring a great sense of freedom to realize that God isn't into rules, but rather relationships. And his goal isn't to make us good, but to make us whole; that is, to heal us from the inside out. The end result will be goodness but goodness that comes from a healed heart, and not from adhering to external rules and regulations dictated by legalism.

This is not an excuse to act out in sinful or destructive behaviors or to ignore God's laws which are for our protection. Never! As the Apostle Paul said, "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means...."2

What it does mean is that I need to grow towards wholeness and maturity by recognizing my inner brokenness, my weaknesses, and my unresolved character issues and bring them not only to God, but also to a trusted friend and/or counselor for healing and recovery. As a general rule, we got damaged (emotionally) in damaging relationships and we get healed (emotionally) in healing relationships. As James said, "Therefore confess your sins [and faults] to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."3

Again, God's goal is not to make us good, but to make us whole. It's the heart that counts with him, not the externals. If all I have is external goodness, I am no better than the Pharisees. Realize too, that only to the degree that we are made whole will our lifestyle, our attitude, our actions, our behavior, and our relationships be "whole-some."

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to see my broken parts so I can bring them to you for healing. Confront me with my reality, make me whole, and lead me to the help that I need to do this. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Colossians 1:28–29 (NASB).
2. Romans 6:1 (NIV).
3. James 5:16 (NIV).

Credit: Daily Encounter

Loving Your Enemies

"But I [Jesus] say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you."1

Bob Lewis relates the story of a Christian woman "who owned two prize-winning chickens. One afternoon, the chickens worked their way out of her yard and into her neighbor's garden. The neighbor, known for his hot temper, captured both birds, wrung their necks and then threw their lifeless carcasses across the fence into the Christian's yard.

"The woman was understandably hurt and considered giving her neighbor a piece of her mind. Instead, she took the chickens home and prepared two chicken pot pies. Whereupon she took one to her neighbor and then apologized for not being more watchful of her chickens. The man was speechless. The chicken pot pie coupled with an apology filled him with such a sense of burning shame that his whole life began to change."Need I say more?

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, I find it real easy to love those who are lovable but don't know how to love my enemies and those who would mistreat me. Please help me to grow in love so that I will always be 'as Christ' to everyone—friend or foe. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Matthew 5:44 (NKJV).

Credit: Daily Encounter