What Every Woman Should......

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...enough money within her control to move outand rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants needs to

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..a youth she's content to leave behind

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...a past juicy enough that she's looking forward toretelling it in her old age...A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...a feeling of control over her destiny

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to fall in love without losing herself

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...that she can't change the length of her calves,the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..what she would and wouldn't do for love or more

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... whom she can trust,whom she can't,and why she shouldn't take it personally

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...where to go...be it to her best friend's kitchen table...or a charming inn in the woods...when her soul needs soothing...EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...

When the Heart Is Breaking

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."1

E. Kittredge wrote, "'I am trying to trust,' said one who had heard the earth falling on the casket which held the cold form of the dearest human friend, 'I am trying to trust,' and so I have seen a bird with a broken wing trying to fly. When the heart is broken, all our trying will only increase our pain and unrest. But if, instead of trying to trust, we will press closer to the Comforter, and lean our weak heads upon his sufficient grace, the trust will come without our trying, and the promised 'perfect peace' will calm every troubled wave of sorrow."

Unfortunately, resolving grief is not quite this simple. Learning to resolve grief and trust God is not an event—it is a process, a process that takes time. To feel deserted by one whom we love leaves us destitute. We can be angry at God for taking our loved one and even angry at the one who left us. Whether we should or shouldn't feel this way is beside the point. We feel what we feel. That's the reality and these feelings need to be expressed in healthy ways to understanding friends who lovingly accept us and our feelings. Then there is the unrelenting grief that tears the heart apart. Tears—gut level tears—need to be sobbed out over and over until all the pain is dissipated. Again, this takes time. Tears are God's gift to drain the pain of unrelenting grief. Until we resolve all these painful emotions, it can be very difficult for many, if not impossible, to feel God's loving presence.

Also, at times of loss the support of loving friends is also critical. Certainly, one may need to withdraw for a brief season but not for too long. Loving support from friends is critical at this time...often for a long time.

Yes we need God but we also need people. One of the first things Jesus did at the commencement of his public ministry was to choose "twelve that they might be with him."2 And one of Jesus' hurts prior to his crucifixion was being abandoned by his disciples. If Jesus needed loving relationships, how much more do we?

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be a loving and supporting friend with whom grieving people feel safe to unburden the pain of their broken heart. And deliver me from the curse to give advice when all that is needed is a loving heart and a listening and understanding ear. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Psalm 34:18 (NIV).
2. Mark 3:14.

Credit: Daily Encounter

Procrastination

"When I find it convenient, I will send for you."1

When the Apostle Paul was brought before Governor Felix to be judged for his Christian faith, Paul may have come close to persuading him to become a Christian. On one occasion after listening to Paul's case, Felix trembled and sent Paul away saying he would speak to him at a more convenient time.

Today is the only day we ever have. Yesterday is gone forever. Tomorrow never comes. Whatever it is we need to do today we need to do today. Procrastination surely is the thief of time. There are many reasons why we put things off—apathy, fear, anxiety, uncertainty, habit, indifference, passive resistance, and/or just plain not-getting-around-to-doing-it.

Whatever the reason, there are some things that are far too critical to put off until a more convenient time—especially putting our life right with God.

Even though Felix spoke to Paul on a number of occasions after saying he would speak to him at a more convenient time, there is no indication that he ever accepted the Christian faith.

If you need to put things right with God and/or accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, why not do that today? As the Bible says, "Behold, now is the accepted time: behold, now is the day of salvation."2

For help on how to be sure you are a real Christian (without having to be religious) go to: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, help me to be sure that I am a true Christian and help me to so live that it will show in my daily living. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Felix, the governor (Acts 24:25, NIV).
2. 2 Corinthians 6:2 (KJV).

Credit: Daily Encounter

As Sick as Our Secrets

"He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion."1Earlier this evening I was reading a church-sponsored website set up to provide a safe place where people can confess their sins and failures. It was called "Sharing Secrets."

Obviously people all over are desperate to confess their sins and failures and be rid of oppressive guilt. The number of and variety of confessions were pretty much par for the course. People shared their problems with addictions, living a double life, eating disorders, gambling, pornography, adultery, hurt, lying, stealing, relationships, illicit sex, past humiliation, regret, shame, abuse, lust, substance abuse, self-harm and so on.

My best guess is that most of these people were ordinary everyday people. There may have been some but I didn't read of any who were involved in criminal activity. Some of these people held responsible positions; some were in leadership—including a pastor or two. The reality is we are all fellow strugglers in that we have all sinned, and when we do, we are plagued by guilt. Even if we repress the guilt from conscious memory, it will still plague us in one way or another.
As psychologists tell us, we are as sick as our secrets.

Every one of us needs a safe place to confess our sins and failures and to be fully forgiven. As King David said after confessing his sin with Bathsheba, "Finally, I confessed all my sins to you [God] and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, 'I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.' And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone."2

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that when I admit and confess my sins to you, you fully forgive me and set me free from guilt. Help me not to sin, but when and if I do, give me the courage to confess what I have done to you and to a safe and trusting person, pastor, priest or counselor. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

1. 1 John 1:9 (NIV).
2. Proverbs 28:13 (NASB).

Credit: Daily Encounter

Happy Father's Day

"Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged."1

As a result of teaching in many seminars and facilitating small recovery groups over the years, I have met and talked to scores of both men and women who grew up feeling their father was emotionally absent. Consequently they struggled with a deep father wound caused by the feeling that they had never been affirmed by their fathers. I felt the same way for many years.

Having spent considerable time working to resolve my own father wound, I wrote my version of the classic poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling several years ago for my two sons who are now adults.

To Be a Man
When you can rise above your fears to conquer every challenge that comes to those who dare to climb the highest heights;

When you can keep on getting up each time you've failed or been knocked down;

When you can see your greatest strength lies in your faith and gentleness, your greatest

courage in admitting your faults, and with God's help strive to overcome them;

When you can accept responsibility for resolving all your hurts and break the chain from generations past;

When you can know and show a father's love and feel with all your heart;

When you can love yourself, others and God more than earthly gain, or fame and recognition, you will, my son, be then a man— and indeed a great man at that.*

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me as a father (and/or mother) to affirm my children emotionally so that they will know in the depths of their being that they are truly loved by me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

Alternate prayer: Or if you are an adult child suffering from a father wound: "Dear God, please help me to find the help I need to find healing of my father wound and (if needed), to understand and forgive my father who, no doubt, was never affirmed by his father. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

Credit: Daily Encounter

*This poem beautifully presented is available online ... > Framed at: http://tinyurl.com/33kxa4Non-Framed at: http://tinyurl.com/2pz9a8
Note: For additional help read the article, "The Healing of a Man's Father Wound" at: http://tinyurl.com/9dse4
Also see the book, A Dad-Shaped Hole in My Heart by H. Norman Wright at: http://tinyurl.com/32scsv
1. (Colossians 3:21 (NLT).

Lady of the Night Part III

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”1

Now I knew the reason why Toni was a prostitute. She was craving a father's and mother's love which she had never had. She was also acting out her inner hurt, anger, and self-hatred in self-destructive ways. She was desperately craving for love and acceptance—obviously in all the wrong ways and places.

Apparently there was another couple involved in this “business.” They could see that things weren't going too well for them. They were closing in on Toni and trying to get her away.

I reached around to block them for a moment, put my arm around Toni's shoulder and said, "Toni, I will probably never ever see you again, but there is something very important that I want to tell you. I hope you will never forget this as long as you live. It is this: no matter what you have ever done or have failed to do—and no matter what it is, and no matter how you ever feel or don't feel, please remember that God loves you and so do I."

And with that I let go of Toni and she was taken away.

As I sat down again I felt deeply moved in my spirit. Two people had related— heart-to-heart and not merely head-to-head as in so many conversations. Then I was struck with the thought that in God's sight there wasn't that much difference between Toni and me; the only difference being that, to overcome the voice of her inner pain and emptiness, Toni became a sexaholic. To overcome my inner pain and emptiness I became a workaholic—"for God," no less! But with God, who looks on the heart and not merely on the outward appearance, there wasn't any difference—Toni and I had both sinned and come short of the perfection (wholeness) that God had envisioned for us both.2

In God's sight we were both equally sinners. And then as I sat there in deep contemplation, waiting for my friend to get off work, another truth hit me. It was this: It was a lack of love that drove Toni into acts of sin. Only love will ever take her out again!

Love, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness. That's the message of Christ and true Christianity. It's the message that we all need to hear—and experience. And it's the message that Christ has for you and me today (and the message he wants you and me to give to everyone else in need). As another has said, “Christianity is experiencing divine love, divine acceptance and divine forgiveness and communicating this to every life we touch.”

So, dear reader, God wants you to know, too, that no matter what you have ever done or have failed to do, he loves you and has the gift of acceptance and forgiveness for you. It's yours for the taking. Why not respond to God's love today by confessing your need and asking for his forgiveness and healing.

For help be sure to read the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian—without having to be religious at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me always to be accepting and non-judgmental of fellow sinners and be one to whom they feel safe to confess their sins—and help them to turn to you for your forgiveness. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 1:9 (NIV).2. Romans 3:23.

Credit: Daily Encounter

Lady of the Night, Part II

"They kept demanding an answer, so he [Jesus] stood up again and said, 'All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!'"1

Continuing our series on "Lady of the Night" ... I was saying how, when traveling out East, I was approached by a young lady in the lobby of a large hotel whose name was Toni (not her real name).

After asking her various questions about her background, Toni seemed to get suspicious and blurted out, "Hey, Dick, wait a minute. Nobody in my whole life has ever talked to me like this before. By the way, who are you? What do you do?"

Oh, no, I thought to myself, if I tell her who I am and what I do, she'll really clam up and that'll be the end of our conversation."

I didn't want to answer Toni's question so I stood there and grinned rather foolishly. I probably learned that technique early in life in order to disarm my mother when she was mad at me. It used to work then. It didn't now. I decided to tell Toni the truth.

"You'll never believe me," I finally replied, "but I'm a minister of religion," to which I fully expected her to give some lame excuse and leave.

But Toni never batted an eyelid. As quick as a flash she responded, "You mean you believe in the Lord?"

"Yes," I said rather relieved that my reply didn't make her turn and run.

"So do I," she said positively, and continued, "I often pray in the shower and ask God to forgive my sins."

Interesting, I thought to myself. That's pretty common. Like Pilate of old who washed his hands after he had Jesus condemned to be crucified, people still try to wash away their guilt—which neither water nor the symbolic act of washing can do. Only God can take and wash our guilt away.

But Toni didn't give me a chance to reply again. She just opened up to me. She told me all about her family and her work, how much she despised what she was doing, how unhappy she had always been, how she felt that her father had rejected and deserted her and moved a thousand miles away. She hadn't seen him since she was a little girl. She had been deeply hurt by him. She also told me in no uncertain terms how much she hated her mother.

And then came the "crunch" line. I knew there would be one, but wasn't sure what it would be. "Dick," she said with tears brimming in her eyes, "in my whole life I have never ever felt that anyone ever loved me. I am terribly lonely all of the time."

I got a little watery-eyed myself. "I can understand how you feel," I genuinely said. "I came from a broken home too. My parents were divorced. And I hated my father because I felt that he rejected me. I know what it's like to feel lonely—like you're all alone in the world and nobody loves you or even cares that you exist. I know exactly what that feels like—only too well."

To be concluded...

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please deliver me from 'casting stones' at those who I feel aren't living up to 'my' standards. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

Credit: Daily Encounter

1. John 8:7 (NLT).

Lady of the Night, Part I

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."1

Excuse me, Sir," I heard somebody say. I turned to see who was speaking. I was taken by surprise. A young, reasonably attractive woman was standing behind me.
She paused a moment, just long enough to get my attention, and continued, "Would you like some female company?"

I'd flown into town and had been waiting for a couple of hours in the lobby of a large Eastern hotel to meet an old friend from college days. Suddenly I was awakened out of my day-dreaming. Would I like some female company? An interesting question, to say the least, I mused to myself and then repeated the question out loud to the young woman looking at me.

I was somewhat taken aback by this rather unusual confrontation. However, it didn't take too much insight to realize that this lady of the day happened to be a "lady of the night."

But somehow I sensed as I looked into her eyes a feeling of sadness ... in spite of the brave front. So I introduced myself and asked her for her name. I'll call her Toni. I knew that here was a young lady who was undoubtedly hurting in one way or another. So I began to ask Toni questions. "Why are you in this business?" I queried.

"Because I need the money," she replied.

Undoubtedly her reply was a poor attempt to rationalize what she was doing. I didn't disagree outwardly.

"Well, tell me about yourself," I continued. "Do you have brothers and sisters? What do they do? Do you still live at home? What does your father do? And what about your mother?"

Toni began to open up and we were having an interesting conversation when suddenly she stopped, as if suspicion had caused an instant freeze on her flow of words. She blurted out, "Hey, Dick, wait a minute. Nobody in my whole life has ever talked to me like this before. By the way, who are you? What do you do?"

To be continued...

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please give me an understanding heart and be willing to listen to a person before rejecting them because of their particular lifestyle and behavior. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."
1. Colossians 4:6 (NIV).

Credit: Daily Encounter

Giving and Receiving Love

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria:

“Give, and it will be given to you.” (Luke 6:38)

God gives you many great promises and blessings in His Word. One of the most exciting is found in the verse for today. Jesus tells you that if you give love away, then you will receive it back in abundance—more than you ever thought possible! But for some reason, most people have a difficult time giving away love, and receiving it as well. But love was designed to be shared. Don’t hold on to your love and devotion; give it away because it is only then that you will be truly blessed with love in return. Try it even today; show true love and friendship to someone and see if you don’t receive an abundance of love and blessings in return!

A Prayer for Today:
God, help me to give my love away to those who need it. Thank You for Your promise of love and blessings if I’m faithful to share Your love with others. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Credit: Joel Osteen Ministries, 3700 Southwest Freeway, Houston TX

A Beautiful way to use the Alphabet

Although things are not perfect; Because of trials or pain; Continue in thanksgiving; Do not begin to blame; Even when the times are hard; Fierce winds are bound to blow; God is forever able; Hold on to what you know; Imagine life without His love; Joy would cease to be; Keep thanking Him for all the things; Love imparts to thee; Move out of "Camp Complaining"; No weapon that is known; On earth can yield the power; Praise can do alone; Quit looking at the future; Redeem the time at hand; Start every day with worship; To "thank" is a command; Until we see Him coming; Victorious in the sky; We'll run the race with gratitude; Xalting God most high; Yes, there'll be good times & yes some will be bad, but... Zion waits in glory...where no one is ever sad!

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord?

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ...
Lord .... Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone
the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet...
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets...
Why did you give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone
who receives the hated stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye
when someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness,
black is the color of dirt.
Why is my bone structure so thick,
my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,
and not the color of the sky?
Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skin
and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate me
and not know the person within?
Black is what people are "Labeled"
when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.
Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like my
skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think
it's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creation
and make everyone the same?


GOD's Reply:

Why did I make you black?
Why did I make you black?
I made you in the color of coal
from which beautiful diamonds are formed...
I made you in the color of oil,
the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil
that grows the food you need...
Your color is the same as the black stallion and
panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!
All colors of the heavenly rainbow
can be found throughout every nation...
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!


Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
such a beautiful creature is he...
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!
You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes...
There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds
from the hurricanes I create in September...
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss...they will remember!
Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the
burden of time...
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back,..that is MINE!


So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
I made you in the image of ME!

Hands!

A basketball in my hands is worth about $19. A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands is worth about $33 million. It depends whose hands it's in.

A baseball in my hands is worth $6. A baseball in Johan Santana's hands is worth $4.75 million. It depends on whose hands it's in.

A tennis racket is useless in my hands. A tennis racket in Venus or Sarena Williams' hands is championship winning. It depends whose hands it's in.

A rod in my hands will keep away a wild animal A rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea. It depends whose hands it's in.

A sling shot in my hands is a kid's toy. A sling shot in David's hand is a mighty weapon. It depends whose hands it's in.

Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish sandwiches. Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in God's hands will feed thousands. It depends whose hands it's in.

Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse. Nails in Jesus Christ's hands will produce salvation for the entire world. It depends whose hands it's in.

As you see now it depends whose hands it's in. So put your concerns, your worries, your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your families and your relationships in God's hands because... It depends whose hands it's in.

An Answer to Suffering

"Remember the poor."1

In an issue of Our Daily Bread I read about Mark and Alice Westlind who are missionaries in Colombia. In one of their monthly letters they wrote the following:

"Driving through Christmas traffic, fighting the drizzling rain, I chanced on a 4-year-old little girl. She was wet and cold and shaking. Her clothes were ragged, her hair was matted, and her nose was running. She walked between the cars at the stoplight, washing headlights because she was too short to wash windshields. A few gave her coins, others honked at her to get away from their vehicles.

"As I drove away only some 50 cents poorer, I raged at God for the injustice in the world that allowed the situation. 'God, how could you just stand by, helpless?'

"Later that evening, God came to me softly with that still small voice and responded not in like kind to my rage, but with tenderness, 'I have done something. I created you.'"

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please give me a grateful heart for all the blessings and provisions you have so freely given to me. And give me a compassionate heart so that I will always share what I have with the poor and those who are genuinely in need—and are not in a position to be able to help themselves. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Galatians 2:10.

Credit: Daily Encounter