Please Help Me—I Have a Problem"

And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, 'God be merciful to me a sinner.'"1

Years ago when I was doing a counselor training course, one of the instructors made the statement, "Whatever bothers you is your problem!" "Hmmm," I thought to myself, "that's an interesting concept—never thought of that before."

At the time I was going through a rough situation personally and was in despair about it. During the course of the training, I explained to my counselor about my predicament and he said, "That must make you angry."

"No," I replied, "I'm just hurt." And he left me with the thought, "That must make you angry!"Shortly after that I went for a long walk, thinking about, "That must make you angry." Then the truth hit me like a bolt of lighting! "Whew," I admitted to myself, "I am angry—very angry!"I was never able to change the person whom I felt had rejected and hurt me so badly, but I was able to change me, and come to terms with my feelings (which I had learned to bury and deny at an early age), and resolve them.

It also helped me to deal with the anger I had towards my father from whom I had been estranged for many years and resolve that impaired relationship. Fortunately, I was able to do this a few months before he died.

My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. What others do to me may or may not be a problem, but how I react and feel is always my responsibility. However, to the degree that I overreact, that is always my problem.It is true; whatever bothers me is my problem.

This can be a hard pill to swallow, but until we accept this reality, we will continue to blame others for our feelings and possibly never resolve our hurts/anger or impaired relationships.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you for the people in my life whom you have used to confront me with truth and reality. They have been angels in disguise. Help me to always recognize them as such and use their insights to help me become a better, healthier, and more loving and accepting person. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Luke 18:13 (KJV).

Credit: Daily Encounter

God's Goal Is Not to Make Us Good

"We proclaim Him [Christ], admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete [mature] in Christ. For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me."1

We don't have to be good for goodness sake!In fact, being good may be our worst enemy. It was for the Pharisees! Their external goodness was a cover-up used to avoid facing what they were on the inside. Jesus did not approve of their external religiosity! In fact, he opposed it vehemently.

It can bring a great sense of freedom to realize that God isn't into rules, but rather relationships. And his goal isn't to make us good, but to make us whole; that is, to heal us from the inside out. The end result will be goodness but goodness that comes from a healed heart, and not from adhering to external rules and regulations dictated by legalism.

This is not an excuse to act out in sinful or destructive behaviors or to ignore God's laws which are for our protection. Never! As the Apostle Paul said, "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means...."2

What it does mean is that I need to grow towards wholeness and maturity by recognizing my inner brokenness, my weaknesses, and my unresolved character issues and bring them not only to God, but also to a trusted friend and/or counselor for healing and recovery. As a general rule, we got damaged (emotionally) in damaging relationships and we get healed (emotionally) in healing relationships. As James said, "Therefore confess your sins [and faults] to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."3

Again, God's goal is not to make us good, but to make us whole. It's the heart that counts with him, not the externals. If all I have is external goodness, I am no better than the Pharisees. Realize too, that only to the degree that we are made whole will our lifestyle, our attitude, our actions, our behavior, and our relationships be "whole-some."

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to see my broken parts so I can bring them to you for healing. Confront me with my reality, make me whole, and lead me to the help that I need to do this. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Colossians 1:28–29 (NASB).
2. Romans 6:1 (NIV).
3. James 5:16 (NIV).

Credit: Daily Encounter

Loving Your Enemies

"But I [Jesus] say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you."1

Bob Lewis relates the story of a Christian woman "who owned two prize-winning chickens. One afternoon, the chickens worked their way out of her yard and into her neighbor's garden. The neighbor, known for his hot temper, captured both birds, wrung their necks and then threw their lifeless carcasses across the fence into the Christian's yard.

"The woman was understandably hurt and considered giving her neighbor a piece of her mind. Instead, she took the chickens home and prepared two chicken pot pies. Whereupon she took one to her neighbor and then apologized for not being more watchful of her chickens. The man was speechless. The chicken pot pie coupled with an apology filled him with such a sense of burning shame that his whole life began to change."Need I say more?

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, I find it real easy to love those who are lovable but don't know how to love my enemies and those who would mistreat me. Please help me to grow in love so that I will always be 'as Christ' to everyone—friend or foe. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Matthew 5:44 (NKJV).

Credit: Daily Encounter

Second Chances

"Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 'Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.'"1

I think most of us enjoy the story of "Jonah and the Whale (Great Fish)."

Jonah was commissioned by God to go to Nineveh and warn the people that if they didn't repent of their wicked, sinful ways, God would destroy them. Jonah didn't like these people and didn't want God to save them, so he boarded a ship and went off in the opposite direction. But God sent a great storm "to shake Jonah up."

However, all aboard the ship were terrified for their lives. When Jonah admitted he was the cause of the storm, the sailors threw him overboard.But God in his mercy sent a big fish to swallow Jonah.

Had God not done this, without a doubt Jonah would have drowned. On the third day, Jonah repented and God caused the great fish to vomit him up on a beach. After Jonah repented and God rescued him, God commissioned him a second time.

Having worked in the area of recovery for a number of years, and specifically in the area of divorce and grief recovery over the past decade, I have seen too many individuals rush into a second marriage without resolving the issues that caused their first marriage to fail—and then see their second marriage and, for some, their third marriage fail.

What many fail to realize is that, in all of life (not just marriage), what we fail to resolve we are destined to repeat … repeat … repeat … until we get it right! The good news is that no matter how many times we fail, God in his mercy and infinite patience will give us a second, third, fourth, fifth, ad infinitum opportunity to get things right.

However, once we get it right, we don't have to go through the same failure again! This is why I encourage divorcees (and others who have failed in other situations) to resolve the issues in their life that caused their marriage or situation to fail so they won't have to go through the same terrible experience.

God wants us to recover, heal and become whole so we won't keep hurting ourselves—and others. Like Jonah, God will keep giving us as many opportunities as we need so we will get it right. That means quitting the blame game, admitting and facing our personal problems, and getting into recovery.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to admit every failure in my life and help me to see the causes behind these failures, and lead me to the help I need to resolve these issues and recover so I can move on with my life in more creative and wholesome ways. Please help me to use every one of my failures as an opportunity to grow and become a better, healthier, more God-honoring person. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Jonah 3:1-2 (NIV).

Credit: Daily Encounter

The Power of Gossip

"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret."1

Alan Boone tells the humorous story how, at the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her:

"Darling, how about a goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!"
"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"NO, no. I just can't.""Pleeeeease?"

Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"2

Ooops ... Some time ago after teaching a class, I was sharing personally with a friend and my microphone was still turned on! Very embarrassing!

What can be even more devastating and disappointing is when you have shared in confidence something very personal with someone that you trusted, only to find that they have shared it with someone else, and that someone shared it with someone else, and so on. Trust has been broken and you feel betrayed.

How easy it is to gossip. We can do it in numerous ways besides verbal assaults on a person's character. When someone's name is mentioned, all we have to do is say, "Oh, HIM!" in a negative tone of voice—or even give a dirty look at the mention of a person's name.

As another has said, "Most of us would never steal a man's transportation, but think nothing of stealing his reputation."

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to guard my tongue, and always ignore and never pass on harmful gossip. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Proverbs 11:13 (NIV).
2. Alan Smith, Boone, NC. www.TFTD-online.com.

Credit: Daily Encounter

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday dear ME, Happy birthday to ME!!!!!

An Obedient Heart!!!

Morning all. Sometimes I find myself wondering why I am here. You know we can really let the cares of this passing world take over our lives and take our eyes off what is important.

What is important is living the life Jehovah God placed us here to live. He made us for himself and for his habitation. He deposited things in our lives to be beneficial to others and to give God all the honour and glory.

How many of us can honestly say that we are living within the will of God? I know that if I answer this question right now it would be in the negative. Yep!

Part of the problem is that I am never satisfied with my circumstances. I always think that there is something better out there for me and that God will want me to be happy … Blah! Blah! Blah! You know what I mean, the usual things we say to convince ourselves that our rebellion against God is not really rebellion.

I went to church yesterday morning and our Pastor was saying certain things that pertained to me and I was praying to Heavenly Father yesterday about my situation (which I created myself) and I asked him “Lord, why am I so disobedient?” No matter how much he shows me He loves me and how much I am worth to Him, I always, ALWAYS do something to mess up, be it doing something I am not to do or not doing something I am to do.

Therefore, this morning I was praying again this morning and all I asked Him was for a “Heart to obey Him”. That is all I want is an obedient heart, not to deny him. I also told Him “Lord I am not going to stop bothering you until you give me that new heart”.

Anyway, I was listening to a CD about 7 youths who Jesus carried to hell to show them the suffering of lost souls sent there. One of the youths sited Proverbs 27:20 and I did some research and came upon http://www.letgodbetrue.come/ and the interpretation of this Proverb below.

God Bless and I Love you all.

Proverbs 27:20 - Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.

There is always room for one more fool to live a painful and dysfunctional life and die a miserable death! Hell and destruction are never full! Therefore, fools are always lusting after the evil things that will ruin their lives! The eyes of man are never satisfied! Fools rush to their own hurt and loss every day! There is always room for one more! Go on in, fool!

There is no limit to loveless marriages, foolish children, lonely hearts, underemployed sluggards, early deaths, starving dreamers, and other problems. You can join them, reader! Prisons have few vacancies, because another fool shows up to fill the house of pain. Divorce Court never closes, because one more fool chose to marry for lust instead of faith or chose to divorce for feelings instead of facts. A.A. always takes new members, for there is one more lush unwilling to drink water. Hell and destruction are never full.

Fools are hilarious! They always want, wish, and lust for something to make them happy - which they never find! They think a man, a woman, a child, a house, an amount of money, a car, a boat, affection from another fool, marriage, an event, a promotion, or something else will make them happy! But they never find it, no matter how hard and long they look! They are doomed to misery, for they have got on a treadmill to nowhere!

They are never content with what they have, even if it is much; for they imagine there is something more exciting out there to make them happy. So they live frustrated and lonely lives, searching for Nirvana, and then they die and wake up in hell! What a miserable existence! Hell and destruction are never full! A fool's eyes are never satisfied!

Hell and destruction are a miserable and painful life and an unnecessary death (23:13-14). The lake of fire is never full either! It always has a little more room! But the lesson here is about painful lives. You too can destroy your marriage, fail with your children, or live with a lonely and frustrated soul. You too can turn your life into hell and destruction. The grave never says, "Enough" (30:15-16), so fools find new ways to lie and die miserably. No matter how many bodies are cast into the ground each day, there is room for more!

The eyes of man are never satisfied, because man craves anything other than God. There is no end to the lust of the flesh and eyes and the pride of life (I Jn 2:15-17). Every foolish man thinks a little more of this or that will make him happy. He cannot relax; he dreams of something better; he needs another event to bring him a taste of excitement. He refuses to accept his present circumstances, for he thinks himself too good for them! He thinks in the near future he will discover something to bring peace and joy.

Give a woman a good husband: she wants a different man. Give him a good job: he wants to work for himself. Give her a warm home and children: she wants something to do. Give him a good income: he wants more. Give her a good body: she wants it better. The problem is not improvement; the problem is out-of-control priorities leading to sin. Why do men with beautiful wives divorce more often than those with average wives? Why are women that could be content with the Lord always frustrated and looking for more?

The strange woman - by her sins of fornication and adultery - takes men down to death and hell (2:18-19; 5:5; 7:27; 9:18; Eccl 7:26). But there is always room for one more fool to use the cover of darkness to go near her house to taste her deceitful offerings (7:6-10). He sees her beauty and hears her flattery and is sure he has found the treasure of pleasure. Foolish men are not satisfied with their wives, so the punishing ruin of adultery always has room for one more fool to be accepted into its downward spiral to destruction.

Adam and Eve were not satisfied in Paradise, and it cost them everything. He that loves silver will not be satisfied with silver, which is vanity and vexation of spirit (Eccl 5:10). Covetousness is idolatry and a great evil, which leads to constant frustration and unhappiness (Eph 5:5). Men's hearts always want something else or something more, and this evil fretting against God and lust for new things will take them down to destruction.

Godliness with contentment is great gain (I Tim 6:6). But fools cannot learn the lesson! They hear it, but they cannot learn it. For they have convinced themselves - deceived themselves - that there is something else that will excite and fulfill their little souls. But the blessed God will never let you find anything positive outside Him, so those who get their eyes and hearts attached to the things of this life are doomed to misery!

Fool! Are you discontent, frustrated, and suffering misery and pain in your life? It is your fault! You have chosen your own lusts over the things of God and heaven. You protect your pet sins; you resent correction by your teachers; and you intend to do things your way. If you will make the blessed God your everlasting portion, you can always be content and filled with joy (Ps 16:11; 73:25-26).

If you choose wisdom, you can find life and escape death (13:14; 14:27). There is also room for one more saint!

Credit: Let God Be True.